Member-only story
Tonight something told me to look for an old video my son had posted to youtube. I searched for the video and found it. I wasn’t even sure why I began to search for it but as I watched the video I began to do a lot of reflecting.
Anxiety and a fear of flying held me back
My son participated in “Alca Tri XXVIII- Escape from the rock” in 2009. I was not present. My husband flew to San Francisco but I stayed home. I had convinced myself that my son wouldn’t mind because his dad was there and he could report back to me about the race. That was so far from the truth. I was scared to death (literally) to fly! No matter how hard I tried to talk myself into flying and the thought of seeing San Francisco, a city I’ve never seen — my fears were over-riding the excitement of watching my son compete in such an extreme race! I know my son was disappointed that I was not there but my anxiety about him swimming in the bay from Alcatraz along with my fear of flying held me back.
In the video clip below, my son’s face is the first thing I see before he heads for the ferry which takes all the triathletes out to Alcatraz. At one point in the video, my husband called me and asked me to wish Brian good luck. Uh, that’s all I said, “Good luck?” My husband told me he would call me when Brian got out of the water. I received a call around 11 am or so…
